Scene: A high-level government meeting where ministers are discussing India’s tourism strategy with great seriousness.
Finance Minister: adjusts tie smugly
“Gentlemen, our strategy is foolproof—tax the middle class until they forget what disposable income means. More GST on chai, samosa, and even oxygen soon! Poor? Middle class? They exist to fund our bullet train dreams while traveling in general compartments. Brilliant!“
Highways Minister (Gadkari ji): grinning
“Highways are my legacy! More roads, more tolls, more road tax! Who cares if potholes double as swimming pools during monsoon? People love adventure! And if they complain? Build another highway!“
Railway Minister: proudly
“Vande Bharat is our masterpiece! Shiny on the outside, toilets straight out of a horror movie inside. Who needs hygiene when you can tie a mug with a janjeer? Passengers should feel the raw Indian experience!”
Sanitation Minister: shrugs
“Clean India? Done! We launched the campaign—now it’s the public’s job to clean. Swachh Bharat was just a suggestion, not a policy! Villages? We built toilets. Cities? Apna khud ka dekh lo.“
Environment Minister: yawns
“Pollution? Not our problem. Let states fight. Delhi can choke, Mumbai can drown—federalism, baby! Our job is to announce policies, not implement them.”
Tourism Minister: lethargic
“Foreign tourists? Uff, so much effort! We have Taj Mahal, Red Fort—Mughals and British did all the work. Why build new landmarks? Just erect more statues of politicians—patriotism sells!“
Beach Development Minister: whispering
“Goa? Overrated. Lakshadweep? Too complicated—tribals, SC/ST, vote bank drama. Let Indians fly to Maldives. We’ll just tweet #ExploreIndianIslands occasionally—nationalism activated!“
Hill Stations Minister: nervous
“Himalayas? Breathtaking, yes. Develop? No! Too risky—vote bank disturbance. Let domestic tourists trek on broken paths. Adventure tourism, they call it!“
PM (finalizing the plan):
“Perfect! Focus on religious tourism—build more temples, dhams. Poor people don’t need beaches or clean trains—bhakti will keep them happy! Rich? Let them fly to Dubai. Win-win!“
Finance Minister (adding):
“Oh, and don’t ban gutka—tax revenue! Let Bollywood stars endorse it. Cancer? Personal choice! Also, keep DTC buses hellish—so people aspire to buy cars. More GST, more tolls! Economy booming!“
All Ministers Together: raising teacups
“To Indian Tourism—forever hyped, never fixed! Jai Hind!“
